I came to a realization yesterday:
I don't love Missouri.
I feel horrible admitting it, and my husband may hate me for blogging it, but it's the sad, simple truth. I just don't love it here.
And it's not that I haven't tried! I moved here expecting to love it. I scoffed at everyone's comments about "misery" when we told them where we were moving. I was excited for our move. Jacob loved living here when he was a teenager, and many of his family members are here now. And as far as I know, they all love it here, too. But I just don't.
I miss Utah. I loved Utah from the moment I moved there for college. I loved the mountains, I loved the snow (at least until after I graduated and had to drive to work), I loved being at BYU and going to all of the performances and plays on campus. Most of all, I loved the friends I made, and I really miss them.
As far as I can tell, Missouri just isn't anything special. Utah was so different from Pennsylvania, and I loved it for those differences. But Missouri is like another Pennsylvania for me, but not as good. Sure, it's green here, but so is Pennsylvania. Yeah, Missouri has 4 seasons, but so does Pennsylvania. I think Pennsylvania may even be prettier than Missouri (although I'm sure that I only say that because I grew up in Pennsylvania and I'm biased). I think Pennsylvania is in a better location in the country--I mean, I could go on day trips to New York City, Washington, D.C., and the beach. I absolutely hate that we aren't close enough to ever go to a beach. I haven't been in years, and I really, really miss it. Oh! And Pennsylvania has Hershey Park and the city of Hershey. What could be greater than a city that smells like chocolate?! Where's Missouri's chocolate-themed amusement park? And the surrounding states... Iowa, Illinois, Kansas, Arkansas... what do they have to offer? Nothing that has interested me.
I guess one thing that Missouri has got is a convenient interstate. Where I lived in Pennsylvania, there was no freeway that I could hop onto to get me quickly to other cities. But I actually miss that, too. Driving is no fun here. Every road I drive on has awful traffic, and anytime I leave Columbia, I just hop on the interstate. Convenient, yes, but definitely not fun. I've always loved driving. It was how I de-stressed. But driving in Pennsylvania was fun. There were gorgeous, scenic roads with hills and turns and trees, and I loved it. Driving does nothing but stress me out here.
One reason I was looking forward to moving was that we would be so much closer to my family in PA. But it really doesn't make any difference. We're still too far to go home any more than we did before, so we may as well still be in Utah. I do love being near so many of Jacob's family members, but I miss my family so much.
I can think of two things about Missouri that I absolutely HATE:
1. Brown Recluse Spiders--They are everywhere in this state. Our neighbors, who we share a wall with, have an infestation, so I'm pretty sure we've got them, too. Luckily, I haven't seen any yet, but they haunt my dreams. Someday, 30 years from now when we own a house, I would like that house to be in a state without brown recluse spiders.
2. Tornados. We have had 2 tornado warnings here in Columbia since we moved here in January. I get so stressed out every time the stupid tornado siren goes off. I hate tornados. That's another requirement for the location of our future house--a state where tornados are not common.
So, Husband & family, please don't hate me... but I just don't love Missouri like you do. Maybe in time I will.
