Psycho

I have never been so emotional before in my life. I don't quite know how to deal with it! I feel like a crazy person. I get so upset over the smallest things, and even though I can feel myself overreacting and being completely irrational, I can't do anything to stop myself. I have no control over my emotions!

I cried the other day at work reading A CHILDREN'S BOOK about Harriet Tubman. And not just once... No, I cried multiple times while reading this book to myself. I just finished watching The Prince and Me, and I cried three times throughout the course of the movie. I have seen this movie plenty of times, and I have never cried. It is not a cry-worthy movie, and I am a complete baby, so I would know if it was. I cried multiple times while watching Bride Wars about a week ago. Ridiculous, I know! It's a comedy! And I cried.

And poor Jacob has to live with me. I'm worried that he's beginning to think I've lost my mind. Maybe I have. Two nights ago, I had some kind of mental/emotional breakdown. It was ridiculous. I went to bed at 8:30, as I have been doing all week because I'm completely exhausted. And when I woke up for the second time because I had to pee, I couldn't see Jacob in the apartment. So I looked around a little (it's not like there's anywhere in our apartment to go), and he was just gone! Now try to understand... In my mind, it was the middle of the night, and my husband had disappeared. After texting him a few times and getting no response, I became hysterical. As it turned out, it was only 11:30, and he was just upstairs playing a game with his friend. He hadn't even put on his shoes--they were still sitting on our apartment floor. But none of that mattered. Even after I realized it was only 11:30, I couldn't calm down. Even after I had finally gotten ahold of Jacob and found out where he was, I couldn't calm down. I sobbed for about an hour until he came home. I had cried so hard for so long that I couldn't breathe. Jacob had to calm me down and rub my back until I could stop crying enough that I could breathe again and finally fall back to sleep.

I don't like feeling like I've lost all control over my own emotions. And I really don't like knowing that people must think I'm psychotic. Our friends upstairs must have thought I was nuts, after I texted or called Jacob about 20 times in the course of an hour. How do people deal with these insane emotions?!